Not long before his tragic death, an interviewer asked John Kennedy, Jr. about his memories of his father. Kennedy told him that he wasn’t sure which memories were his and which ones had been given to him by others. Reporters loved taking pictures of what appeared to be the idyllic and beautiful Kennedy family. Since he was only four when his father was assassinated, John, Jr. had to put together a picture memory book in his mind made up mostly of pictures others had taken of his family. Kennedy said that he had only one memory of his father that he knew for sure was his own. The rest of his memory was borrowed from the pictures others took.
It has always concerned me, as a pastor, as a father and a friend, that the faith of so many people is not really their own. It’s a borrowed faith, cobbled together with the bits and pieces of the faith of others. Like they had walked through a spiritual all-you-can-eat buffet, loading their plates full with the bits and pieces of the faith of others that seemed palatable to them.
If you ask them what they believe about God, it’s hard for them to speak with clarity. They believe what they believe because their parents or grandparents or older siblings believed it. They didn’t believe what they did because they thought critically, but because they were willing to let others do their believing for them, as though that is possible.
I often chaffed under the ministerial collar others attempted to put on me by trying to live their faith vicariously through me, the hired hand. They enjoyed a glass of wine or a margarita, but, from the pulpit, they wanted their pastor to rail against the evils of drinking. They never shared their faith with others but expected the pastor to preach about the importance of being evangelistic. They expect their pastor to preach about forgiveness but rather enjoyed keeping score, sometimes for years, on those who had offended them. If the pastor said it, they considered it said by themselves, since they paid for the sermon. There is nothing more dangerous or fragile than a faith borrowed from someone else but never made your own. Living on borrowed faith is like expecting to lose weight because you watch your neighbor jog by every morning.
The Apostle Paul talked of the time he stopped thinking and speaking like a child and chose to become an adult. Becoming an adult biologically is something that just happens, whether we want it to or not. Becoming an adult spiritually is nothing less than a choice. It won’t happen until we decide to think critically about what we believe, no matter how threatening that may feel. Unquestioned faith is not faith, it’s just a bumper sticker looking for a place to ride. Unquestioned faith is not faith, it’s a conscience lazily surrendered to the latest folk-faith fad. Too many people these days have not one piece of their faith that is their own.
It’s never too late to choose to grow up.
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3 comments:
Glen,
Here's to not being a "hired gun" er, uh, I mean "hand"!
kevin hall
In my late twenties, due to a heaping dose of miserable in my life, it occurred to me that if I devoted less time trying to live out a 'Christian image' and more time trying to live in the image of Christ, I could stop pretending to be that which made others happy and just be who God made me to be. It's amazing how much time, energy and stress we can waste trying to make ourselves into what we think God wants instead of just letting go and allowing God to transform us. It's freedom at its best!
Someone told me recently that the best way to write is to write as though you were parents were dead. I told him that both of my parents are gone. He said, your "Parent Church is still very much alive." In other words, for some of us, it's the image in which the church tries to make us that is so overpowering. It takes real courage to say to the Parent Church, "I'm going to be what God created me to be, not necessarily what the church wants to shape me into being." You're right, Lori, that's real freedom.
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