Along the Road

Years ago, when I was going through a divorce, the road ahead looked pretty frightening. The things that I knew for sure about divorce and its consequences were scary enough. What was most frightening were the unknowns. What would this do to my kids, my finances, my health, other people who were counting on me, my ability to make a living in church work? What would this do to my relationship with God? What would it be like to be – so alone? All the logical responses to those questions aside, when you know your life is about to wreck and there is not one thing you can do to prevent it, those fears are as real as your own hands in front of your face.

An older minister had become something of a mentor/spiritual father to me in the years that led up to what became a divorce. I had confided in him. I’d told him things I’d never told another human being. I had grown to love him for the way he had loved me unconditionally. I have to admit that, when he died in the summer of 1998, I took some comfort in the fact that he had literally taken some of my secrets to the grave.

Whenever I called, he always had unrushed time to talk. I called a lot. He was always available. He didn’t have answers for everything; no one could. But, one day, when I was talking about my fears about the future, he said something I’ve never forgotten – something that profoundly shaped my life. “Whichever way the road turns for you,” he said, “I’ll be with you on it.”

Dente, Becker and Ashton once sang, “Joy at the start, fear in the journey, joy in the coming home. A part of the heart gets lost in the learning somewhere along the road. Along the road your path may wonder. A pilgrim’s faith may fail. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Darkness obscures the trail. Cursing the quest. Courting disaster. Measureless nights forebode. Moments of rest, glimpses of laughter, are treasured along the road. Along the road your steps may stumble. Your thoughts may start to stray but, through it all, a heart-held hunger levels and lights your way.”

My old friend and I didn’t see each even once the last ten years of his life. He lived a long way off and did his caring long distance. But, care he did. Until the day he died, though, I knew that he was on the road with me, even thought that road did take some nasty turns. My heart got lost in the learning more than once. But, I knew that I was never alone.

The people that have the most profound impact on our lives are not the people who always have all of the answers to all of our questions. They are not the people who offer false assurance just to get us off of the phone or just to make us feel better. Even when they have to be the bearer of bad news themselves, the people who make the most profound difference in our lives are the people who stay with us, no matter which way the road turns.

Our best friend once made the same promise. “Lo, I am with you always.” He doesn’t always offer up answers to our questions. But, no matter what, we are never, ever alone. Never. No matter which way the road turns for us.